Friend Abandonment

Have you ever had a friend so close you were practically family? 

If you haven’t, you’re missing out on a special awesome. Seriously, from one introvert to another you gotta get into the friendly era at least once. Even if it’s for a tickle of a second. We can’t do this life alone, ya know.

Anywho…for those who do know, having that buddy is essential because you can bounce ideas off of them, teepee the house of that girl who tried you, or even have a wingman at the dog park (we all know the awesome persuasiveness of animals and their odd connection to forming relationships between random humans).

Then something happens…you grow distance, someone or something comes in between you, new jobs in different cities, boyfriends/girlfriends, kids, spouses, relatives. The point is something replaced you and your time. It feels like a small defeat. A tiny broken link in a chain of habitual moments. It’s as if they canceled the future dates in your Google calendar without even letting you know.

Some of us mourn and grieve this departure fairly differently. 

  1. You can get mad and not say anything AKA the silent treatment.
  2. You can get mad and rage out in petty form. (She went out with John last night, so when she text I’m going to say I’m out with Damien even though I’m not doing anything right now. )
  3. You get sad and cry. 
  4. You get sad and internalize it, thinking this sad little friendly break up is all your fault (and in your head). 

Notice that all involve the way you feel and reacting accordingly. Let’s use truth to squash the problems shall we. 

For one thing, let’s cut the drama. You’re both adults and adults can and should express themselves in a calm, peaceful, and diginified manner. There is no need for name calling, back biting, rides on the petty wagon, or places to insult each other’s intelligence/morals/physical appearance. 

Which brings us to the next point. Talk it out. Don’t internalize pain and hurt. It doesn’t nake you a guppy for speaking your true self. Allowing the vulnerability to pop through may signal to your friend the “Hey there. We’re still family friends type deal.” 

Yeah. Maybe your friend got to wrapped up in the newness of another relationship that you were temporarily forgotten..but who doesn’t do that? 

Remember that feeling when you got a new phone, or computer and you had to configure and explore it until you could really get into the next step of your technological adventure. It’s the same thing with new things that present themselves in our lives. Sometimes you get so into the new toy you got, that you forget your original pals. 

As the “forgotten” friend, continue to be the fun loving, goof boob you’ve always been. Be supportive whether the new friend’s love is a significant other, a job, a new city, hobby or talent. (Intervene if it’s a detremental or dangerous situation.) 

They’ll appreciate your supportive nature and your friend will notice the absence and chill with you in the right time. Maybe not tomorrow, or three days from now like you used to, but respecting their space while they explore their new option is healthy (in some, not all cases. These unhealthy moments include, but are not limited to dangerous habits – drugs, domestic violence, etc.)

So if your brother from another mother or sister from another mister acts foreign…just know that their life is evolving. They’ll need your support, love, honesty, and charitable spirit. 

How do you deal with friendship break ups or breaks? Comment below on your Millennial friendships triumphs and downfalls. We would thoroughly enjoy getting to know how you handle the disentegration or redemption if a friendship and how you handled it.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s