Personal Relationships and Work

Let me stop and have a moment here Millennial. Let me give you a moment to just take what I say into prospective. 

Do not…I repeat…DO NOT…work where your spouse or significant other works. 

But why? Me and my man/woman are fine. We’ve been together for so long. We have a mutual understanding that we respect each other…

Blah blah blah…if that’s you, then Hip Hip Horray! I don’t apologize for my thick sarcasm because this is for the sugars who get to work with their significant other and it’s not pleasant. 

This is for the relationships where you’ve stepped out of the honeymoon, goo goo gah gah phase. Where if he/she makes you upset, as much as you want to not be petty, you are two seconds from duck taping their office seat to their desk or cutting a hole in the heel/toe of their socks.

What can we say…the petty is real. Not to say it’s right. You just feel that way sometimes. 

This is for you Millennials. This is for the contant mansplaining and nagging that you have to deal with because your sig. other thinks you need a play-by-play of how to do your job…and they don’t even work in your department. I mean, who cares about your previous experience, drive, or know how.

This is for the sig. other who has to deal with the weird nicknames, awkward snuggles, unwanted arguments and comments, or snide remarks birthed from a previous argument while you’re working. 

Ughhh! 

It gets upsetting. It gets redundant. And quite frankly, it needs to stop. 

We concocted and grabbed solutions for you and explained them a bit below. 

How to start the conversation:

Note: If you have a particular style of talking that you’re comfortable with go with what you know…but if it isn’t working, stop being insane. 

  1. The most obvious is to let it be known that there is a problem. Before you go spewing off at the water cooler or in the breakroom try #2. 
  2. Talk it out at home when you’re relaxed and happy. Coming at this when you’re both really on edge already is going to make this an even more frustrating conversation. 
  3. Speak clearly and calmly. Don’t speak with the TV on or dabble on a game/internet browsing. There should be no distractions. The focus is on the issue at work. 
  4. Roses and thorns. Start off with something your sig. other does well or that you like. People say they like the truth, but not everyone wants to hear how they’re hurting the one they love. Then ease your way into the offense. 

Solutions:

  • For pet names: Have code names or have the names spoken while it’s just the two of you. Or go cold turkey. 
  • For belittling and mansplaining: The offending person has to make a serious change by learning to trust their partner’s input and work. They got the job, so let them prove themselves. If they mess up, talk about it and give constructive criticism at home or away from work in private using the roses and thorns method. Or let them come to you for help, and only if they want it. 
  • Overbearing and nagging: Being overbearing, nagging, and overly explosive when it comes to giving your sig. other information is going to make you seem like a parental figure or boss and they won’t want to be bothered. 

You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re embarassed, forgotten, abused, left out, or belittled while at work by your sig. other. They’re cute, but work shouldn’t have to feel like a battleground or a minefield you have to tip toe around. 

Tell us how it really is. Do you feel burdened by your spouse at work? How do you handle it? Tell us about that work house mania, Millennial and how you handle it in the comments. 

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