As an introvert (which way different and far from being shy)…I tend to need my alone time. The ability to work with and by yourself without wanting or needing anyone near is quite a phenomenal thing for one such as myself.
I take care of a child via babysitting during the day and I work at home (Yeah, I know! I thank God for it.) Coupled with a dog named Sasha, who thinks she is a child and the duties of being a wife, sometimes it can get a little overwhelming mentally.
Your mind needs a break to unwind, unplug, and swim away from whatever or whoever is picking at it (not literally, I hope).
One of my outlets is to draw and/or paint. And I think it’s so awesome because when you least expect it…the painting can speak to you. So, these particular past two days were no difference.
Me and God were having a convo. No…He doesn’t scream out loud to me or anything, but I was talking and getting excited about the new painting I would be placing inside of our dining room. It’s a HUGE sunflower and I thought, why not?
So, I’m sketching this sunflower out and really getting into the colors, making my own blends, and delving into the moment. Several thoughts pop up…and I’m talking them out loud because it helps me to understand my “mental vomit”. It’s my process.
Thought #1: Are you sure you’re going to be able to do this?
Thought #2: That flower really looks a bit different from the one you saw…maybe you should probably stop.
Thought #3: Oh my gosh. You are such a friggin’ artist! Like it’s in your blood. Totally genetic.
Thought #4: You are so much better than anyone who has ever painted. Like, people will be pleased. They will smile and clap and Beyoncé or Blake Lively or Mila Kunas (Kutcher) will say…”I want this painting. I commission you to make me a painting like this one”. And I will say, very humbly, no. My work cannot be bought.
Thought #5: Don’t be so pig-headed. You alright, but you ain’t gotta be so competitive and prideful. We bind that spirit of pridefulness, son.
And these thoughts are just spilling out of me like ticker tape while I vigorously shade, sketch, and outline the sunflower on the wall. This is a safe place for me and my thoughts. They can easily be shot down, accepted, noticed, changed, and loved on. And while I painted, I thought, and reflected…I relaxed and began to see the sunflower that I was becoming.
I stepped back and smiled.
This sunflower…any sunflower. I enjoyed them so much for a reason. I exemplify it so much. The dashing yellow, oranges, and reds…all colors that are fire-y and demand to be seen, heard, loved on, and appreciated. Like myself…and okay…so it sounds a little narcissistic, but…
a part of understanding yourself is accepting those things about you – whether you like them or not.
And loving yourself enough to want to change the things you don’t like, so you can be a person you would be proud to sit in the stands and cheer on with encouragement and excitement.
I looked upon the browns…and at first, I said, “God, these brown is mudding it down. It looks so bland and just blahhhhhhhh!”
But as I looked closer, I thought…but it adds something. It makes it warm and lived in…like a place that you know will be cozy and full of good ol’ fashioned love. I thought, this brown is like me, too. I enjoy a good romp around the apartment with just my fuzzy socks, a t-shirt, and a pair of good bloomers. I enjoy the feeling of loving and being loved.
Once I splashed in the blue…I thought of my wonder love…not lust (because it doesn’t last), but love…or enjoyment…don’t get so politically correct on me. And I thought, just as a kid, when we stare up at the sky, wondering what’s beyond that cloud and into outer space…I wonder what’s beyond this moment, in another country, another culture, another plate of food I haven’t tried. And albeit, this can sometimes make me disappointed because instead of living in the moment, I’m dowsing myself in a future one that hasn’t been created, it does give me something to yearn for.
Needless to say, at 4 in the morning, I was up and about…and felt compelled to finish. It wasn’t until almost 6AM that I finally posted and displayed the lovely, “Fire Flower” on the wall.
You’re probably wondering where the Hoot-ersssss come into play.
Hubby came in, looking wonderful as only he can toting a bag of Hoot – terrrssss wings and shrimp. He is amazing and all mine….Mu hoo ha ha hahahahahahahahahhaaaa!
Ahhh…It certainly is and has been a stupendously, marvelous, cue-the-movie-music type of day.
What about you Millennial? What do you like to do to unwind? How does it make you feel? Let me know so we can chat and talk about it in the comments.