Peter Pan Syndrome

Have you seen this meme? 

The joys of growing up did not register when we were secretly wishing we could grow up quicker in middle school. 

My birthday is tomorrow and it’s making me want to reminisce so much. 

Like for my 10th birthday, I almost burned down the kitchen trash can playing with matches. Or the day, I had my first kiss. That first look of disappointment on my parent’s face when I got caught with a boy in the house (even though it was a first offense and we were washing dishes.) 

I’m thinking of that first year of college, where I lived…I LOLed…I lusted and found love. I remember the first day I met my husband. The day I did research at a highly esteemed university. Our first car accident. That one year I got depressed. That time I went to recoup in another country. 

Life has just been so different and exciting. It’s been fairly upbeat with a dip or two, but it hasn’t been sucky. 

I’ve appreciated life…or have I? I suppose that’s why I feel…off. 

I’m asking am I doing all I can to make it count? Am I working on a legacy? Am I really being as uniquely and individually me? Have I grown? 

I can certainly say that I’ve grown, so let’s put a check mark there for mostly agree..I got a little thick around the edges. Pleasantly plump. 

I’ve grown spiritually. I’ve learned to get an understanding of God on my own, instead of always relying on someone to fill me in. It’s like learning about a friend through someone else. Things can get lost in translation and in my learning, I’ve found people and God are more relatable. I appreciate their experiences better now. They’re not stories…they’re memories shared amongst friends, making them more special to me.

I’ve grown in faith…still working on patience, though. Bwaaaaa! 😂 And to watch what I say…because there is so much power in your words. Hence, the retirement of “Jesus, take the wheel.”

I’ve learned that I’m not as easily forgiving as I thought. I learned that I’m fiercly competitive, heroic, and that I would do a lot for my family (more than I thought myself capable). I’ve learned to be more independent, to drop the damsel in distress act (because there isn’t always someone to kiss your boo boos), to put on my big girl panties when necessary, and to step up to the plate instead of riding the bench voluntarily. 

I’ve learned to be a helper in my marriage and to listen to my husband before issuing a rebuttal. I’ve been taught that it takes more strength to submit and forgive than to get the last word in to be right. I’ve learned to be grateful for what I have, but to have enough sense to say “God, I need help before I pop his head.” 

This year…I graduated from college, I’ve cried in frustration, and I’ve smiled brighter than the sun. And as I experience another year…I’m a mix of emotions. I’m mourning the bad times, wanting to relive the good, and rewrite some portions. 

But since we gotta keep moving forward…I shall eat, God willing, some Cheesecake Factory Carrot Cake Cheesecake, love on my husband and friends, and look towards the high calling and prize placed before me. 

How was your last birthday? Are you ready for the coming year? Let us know the details below Millennials. 


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