Are You Winking At Me Or Having A Stroke?


When I was a kid, I was sheltered. Not because I was forced but because this birdie was not ready to fly.

And it wasn’t a bad thing. Some things kids just shouldn’t be exposed to. However, I took staying inside my bubble to an entirely different level when I hit high school.

After moving and getting into a new school, sometimes you feel out of place. You have to make new friends and become you to someone new all over, again.

By the time I hit my junior year, I didn’t care to try and personify anyone other than myself. As a result, I was a bit of a loner. No longer taking on the appearance of anyone I was around, I took shape.

When Junior year beamed by and Senior year with it’s prom and graduation surprises gleaming on the horizon, I decided to stop being the kid who stayed inside and start being the gal who made things happen.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t have friends or you are always a loner. You just have those interactions in measured doses and with certain folks. I chose to go hard in the paint flirting at first. It was most own covert mission. Operation Get a Guy.


My eyes twitched, I held my head a bit higher, but I felt unnatural. I didn’t like spending a lot of time putting a face on in the morning. I was more concerned with the books in my bag and the new Twilight movie that came out.

Fortunately, my friendly personality and smarts got me the attention from the guys who were like-minded. I didn’t have to deal with the crazy babies, well there was Micky*, but that long distance debacle was finally over by the time I had my first “real”, healthy dating experience. We went to prom, we dated afterwards…sigh…life was good and got better with college!

Oh my! I vowed to make freshman year the best ever! I made up for the time I spent inside in 1 year. College and living on campus is like living in a community (dorms), with a job (school) and you get to enjoy life and the people in it without any or very little cares…I certainly took to the wind.

Heck…I even tried a little, a smidge of makeup. I chatted it up with the guys. I dated a guy here, was chummy with a fellow here…and with my virginity intach. Despite the looks and piercing curiosity on our school’s “town square”, I flung my short hair back, and screamed…”I Am A Woman!”

In fact, my vivacious desire to be seen and to see…led me to my husband. I remember I saw him sitting at a table the second semester and I thought ‘Who are all these new kids? Let me introduce myself.’


I sprang up next to him, and said “Hey! How are you? What’s your name? My name is…” and well…I disappeared. A month later when we started dating, he said he thought it was the boldest thing ever and began his trek to figure out who that mysterious blip of random was.

I say all this to say this….stay in your element or close to it. You don’t have to make yourself into doll baby McKenize or start making yourself into someone you could never be. Stay unique. I had moments where I was going to be more outgoing that day by saying Hi to people I didn’t know, but I didn’t try to say Hi like other people or switch up my lingo.

Keep your dynamic and foundation…and the people who are awesome for you will see you when it’s time. That worked for me…can’t speak for everybody, but if it sounds like you…try it out and attempt to spend more time having fun celebrating your woman or mannishness.

If you keep trying to find someone…that desperation comes off of you. Instead, let that GENIUNE YOU peep through and your true intentions can spew out.


How do you flirt or not flirt? Spill the beans Millennial below in the comments! 



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